I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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