you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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