I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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