I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
