Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
