You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
