summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
