Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
