You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
