he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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