As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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