Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
