Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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