but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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