All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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