people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
