i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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