The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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