Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
