It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
