This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize