You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
