So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This toilet bowl is my home.
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