awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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