I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
