I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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