Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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