The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
