So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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