ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Randomize
