What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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