in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
