I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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