We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
