Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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