i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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