When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
