I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize