lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
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I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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