Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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