It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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