So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
