It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
