So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
