I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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