i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
