Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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