The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
