She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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