youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
