The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So many bounce houses so little time
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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