You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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