If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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