She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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