Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize