At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
